Martha Ann (Dykhouse) Blackwell

      Martha Ann Blackwell was born in 1935 in Grand Rapids, Michigan. The youngest of 10
children, her house growing up was filled with the glow of love, laughter, and music. Spoiled by
a huge family of much older siblings, she spent her full 87 years of life reveling in the love of
others while telling stories about all their family antics.
      At 15 she met the love of her life, Jerry Kalkofen. Raised in a strict sect of Christian-
Reform, Jerry was drawn to the softness of Martha’s accepting Lutheran upbringing and loving
family. They happily welcomed him, Jerry converted, and together they quickly built a beautiful
life together, having baby Lora in 1956.
      Moving out to what was then deeply rural lake cottages alongside the expansion of the
telephone company, the new family (with the help of good friends) built a home overlooking a
gorgeous lake. Marty would spend the rest of her life living in its walnut-paneled interior walls,
hanging memories of her family across the large brick fireplace. The walls literal windows to the
world outside; this was where Martha was home. Where she was able to admire the world but
remain comfortable, always keeping that distinct mix of class and comfort. There the family
thrived for decades.
      Jerry passed suddenly in 1984 at age 49, a tragedy that devastated the family. Martha
persevered, in part due to the tireless efforts of her daughter and family, and in part because,
in the times it counted the most she could be the strongest of us all. She found love again, and
by the late 1983 married an Airforce Lieutenant Colonel named Ken Blackwell. Together they
traveled, experienced, and found a new lease on later life. Then he came down with cancer.
They fought it together, but Ken finally succumbed in 1994. For Martha, both men held a large
place in her heart. She wouldn’t remarry again, but she would spend the rest of her life telling
wonderful stories about the adventures she had in love.

      The curse of being the baby of the family is that, even when everyone lives good long
lives, you must eventually see them all pass. Martha’s oldest brother was nearly twenty years
her senior; loss would become very familiar. Martha lost 8 siblings, two husbands, and dozens
of loved, extended family members throughout her long life. Yet, she found a way to be
generous and optimistic every day. She learned to shoulder loss on a level few of us will ever
understand and somehow emerge stronger for it. Martha’s strength, her beautiful individuality,
came from her ability to summon the inner courage to live and find joy. To accept and move on
while never forgetting.
      She loved Jeopardy every night and talked to her Grandson Jerry weekly, at length,
about his tech job she didn’t understand. She asked questions about astronomy, philosophy,
religion, politics, her curiosity for the world boundless even late in life. She talked to love and
be loved, to understand, with little judgment in her heart. Martha adored television, goodnatured
sitcoms from every generation and old movies. She had a sharp mind, enjoying
crossword puzzles and thought experiments. She loved baked goods, most things with plenty of
sugar, and her recipe for Goulash will remain the family standard.

      For the last thirty years of her life, she relied on her daughter Lora, who loved her
deeply enough to help her stay in the house Jerry had built for them. Because of her, Martha
got to end her years on her own terms in the place she loved, and the gratitude and admiration
she had for Lora in life were beyond words.
      Her entire life Martha relied on her family for help, but she always returned what she
had to the soil, fertilized all the plants close to her, and the return on those investments often
far exceeded her own possibilities. She enabled greatness over three generations. Martha
understood how to support others, when to take a chance, the long-term value of investing in
people.

      On Thursday April 13th at 6:48pm Martha passed away from natural causes. She passed
surrounded by her daughter Lora, Lora’s fiancé Dave Helsen and grandson Jerry, with just ten
minutes to go until the wheel was on. An hour short of the perfect life. Martha will be deeply
mourned by those that loved her, but her life celebrated as one of accepting love and
resilience. Her spirit will live on through her family, in the forests, lakes, and rivers of the land
she spent 60 years on, and in the temple of our heavenly father.

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